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The backward method:

The backward method is an extremely useful method in conflict resolution. The reason why is because whenever we are in a conflict or a potential conflict it is due to our involvement with someone who is using counterfeit qualities. Due to the other person's words or actions, we experience harm, insult, or injury. This can range from minor to major concerns.

Simply put, there are times when we have nothing good to say about the actions of another person, and we are left with only having knowledge of what they are doing wrong .rather than what they are doing right.

It is in circumstances like this when the backward method becomes the best and perhaps the only method available to assess the character of another.

It is similar to the forward method in that you start by trying to make a match between the person and the character quality; however, with the backward method you start by looking in the counterfeit qualities list.

Over the course of time, with some practice, you will discover that your skills to assess another person will improve.

The following example illustrates two things.

First, it illustrates how a person can make personal improvements by assessing and addressing their own character needs.

Second, it illustrates that in so doing, a person develops the skill to assess another person's character as well. It is done in a way disarms the conflict with the person who was viewed as an adversary.

Example: Crosby was the man-about-campus! He was extremely talented, a hard worker, and a great student. He was an in-charge type of person. He was the fellow that everyone would have voted the most likely to succeed. Crosby was an enterprising person! He was extremely decisive, objective, and very efficient. He was employed in an on campus management job as a recruiter for the college.

Two amazing things happened to Crosby.

First, because of his own self-assessment, he was able to see that those three incredible qualities that were driving his success were also the ones he was most likely to use as counterfeits.

He had been blind to his own faults. He had always felt self-justified if he was too dominant, too inflexible, too rigid, or too much a perfectionist with his co-workers. He knew how things should be according to his qualities, and he incorrectly assumed that everyone should meet his imposing standards.

Nobody got in Crosby's way. It was either rise-up to meet his erroneous expectations, or in cold-calculation, he would eliminate you with no love lost!

Second, just at the time Crosby assessed his own character, he realized that he had been scheming to overthrow a co-worker that he perceived as a threat.

The co-worker, Tony, was keenly perceptive of Crosby's shortcomings. He was known to be vocal about standing up against injustice no matter what it cost him personally.

At his worst, Crosby feared being exposed by Tony; at his best, he patronized Tony to bring him on board as an ally until he could be eliminated.

No sooner than Crosby had re-evaluated his own character to see his own shortcomings, he realized what a huge character error it would be to continue to react against Tony.

Crosby needed a new plan. He decided to assess Tony's character to find the underlying cause of what it was about Tony that was really bothering him. He knew if it were possible, his best choice would be to turn his negative view of Tony into a positive one and in a way that could reinforce and establish a true friendship with Tony.